FREEDOM THROUGH THE BACK-DOOR (A MEDITATION)

Mike Kewley Blog Post

There are two kinds of thoughts, passive and active.

Passive thoughts come and go by themselves, can be good, bad or ugly, visual, audio or both.

Active thoughts are “I” thoughts. They are thoughts that feel as though we create them and are responsible for them. Examples of “I’ thoughts are “I need that” “I want that” “I have to do that” “I don’t like that.”

In fact, both kinds of thoughts are passive, which is to say that all thoughts are passive and are not consciously created by you. We do not choose thoughts to think, and we are not the managing director of thoughts either.

Thoughts just happen.

They occur based upon an infinity of factors like age, sex, culture, genes, mood, food, education, cognitive ability, external circumstances, interests, etc.

But there is no “you” creating passive thoughts. There is no “you” directing “I” thoughts.

There is just the phenomenon of thoughts arising and passing.

They have no internal owner.

In this sense they occur to “no-one.”

Whatever we are cannot therefore be found in thoughts.
We experience thoughts but we are not those thoughts.

We experience the “I” thought but we are not the “I” thought.

So if we are not thoughts which are a passive phenomenon, what then are we?

We are subjectivity: the awareness or knowing which illuminates each thought.

We are aware of passive thoughts just as we are aware of “I” thoughts.

No thought can contain what we are simply because we are always aware of thought. We cannot become a thought in the same way as the mother cannot become the child.

We are always one step removed from a thought, as the awareness of it. No thought has ever stolen your subjectivity.

We experience approximately 70,000 thoughts each day, how many over the course of our lifetime?

And yet our basic awareness has known each and every thought, illuminated each and every thought, good, bad or ugly.

The thought you had on Christmas Eve aged 4 was known by the same awareness which will illuminate and know your very next thought.

It’s always been the same basic knowing, the same basic subjectivity, the same basic being.

No thought, sound or experience has ever touched it, stained it, scratched it or altered it in any way. Even the experience of an altered state is known.

This awareness is like an ever-present sun, lighting up the world of shifting experiences.

We are not thoughts. We are not the thinking process.

This is just something which is lit up as it comes and goes, like meteors through space.

We are basic awareness. Naked being. Ever-present knowing.

Because this is so simple, intimate, obvious and ordinary, we constantly miss it. We fail to recognise it and stay hypnotised by thinking which we invest in, as the real “I.”

Would something that comes and goes, appears and dissappears, be the “real I”?

What is real about it?

What is constant about it?

What is trustworthy about it?

Nothing. Thoughts are like soap, they continuously slip though our hands.

Being is an Ocean.

It is here and now as our primal, essential and natural state.

I am not passive thoughts. I cannot be.

I am not active “I” thoughts. I cannot be.

I am. I simply am. I am the most ordinary experience known to humanity.

This “am-ness” is the base of all experience, thinking, doing, acting.

It is. I am. I is. It am.

All thoughts are passive, all thinking is a passive conditioned phenomena.

It is not you just as your clothes are not you.

You are not in control of thinking, thinking is happening. You are not in control of being, being is happening.

There is only passivity: life happening.

Life effortlessly blossoming, without the need for an “I” to control it. We can call it grace.

This non-doing is non-dual because there is no real person to stand between being and the world, and split them in half.

When this illusory thought-made self is seen through, awareness and life merge together like two oceans crashing together as one.

Then there is just water, appearing as waves.

Just life, knowing itself effortlessly.